Hope Against Pain

So many young lives hang in the balance. So many mask the truth of their pain with a tough exterior, a flippant remark, a quiet demeanor. The lie of being alone, of being unchangeable, unredeemable, floats in their minds and tugs at each of their thoughts. It is hard to watch them crumble, to watch them drift away. We invest so much, but there is always so much more to do. We care for them, we fight for them, we shower them with truth and love, and even still, we watch as the pieces of their lives fall and the darkness threatens to overwhelm. 

And I worry. I worry about them because I can see the hollowness in their eyes. I can hear the quiet desperation in their voices. And I know that their fragile lives hang so precariously on the edge. I know that one simple thing can make them throw it all away. One thought, one action, one decision. 

But in the midst of their pain the answer is so seemingly simple. I hear it in the wind and I feel it in the sun. It is the warmth in the eyes of our staff and the pressure in our heart. The answer lies in them coming to believe that they are truly valued in the eyes of God, that there is a way of life that will bring them to a fullness of life that they have never known before. 

And it is to this hope that we must cling. It is this hope that will push against their desire to jump into the false promises of death. It is this hope that will slowly strengthen the hearts and minds until they can stand against the winds of hopelessness and declare that they are truly worthy of life. 

-Meredith 

Welcome to AYM's crazy summer!

Well, the school year is officially over and this week summer begins! For some people, summer means a break. For AYM, summer means things get crazy.

This summer, for instance, we lose our regular programming but gain 10 short-term teams from around the United States. That means b.u.s.y. In addition to working with these awesome teams, we also have to work at making sure that we don't drop our own students in the hustle and bustle of accommodating and loving on our visitors.

For us, the summer becomes a balance. It is a balance of caring for multiple groups of people, from different backgrounds, with different stories and expectations. And we are blessed because our short term teams are fantastic, and our AYM students are so lovely and flexible and kind and excited. But there is a danger in trying to accommodate so many needs that we forget about the purpose behind it all. 

For me, as I prepare for the summer I get small bouts of anxiety, because I want it to be perfect for everyone. I want our teams to get a full picture of this beautiful place. I want them to leave with the right perspective, with new friends, with a new appreciation for God. For our kids, I don't want them to feel left behind. I don't want them to feel like a project or a show. I want them to feel loved and cared for and happy. My team and I have such a passion for God's work in this place, and I don't want anything to become lost in the busy weeks to come.

In the midst of the preparations I become easily overpowered by expectations, and I get tired before the summer has even started! But as I often have to do, I take a deep breath. And I find rest in the deep and perfect breath of God saying, "This isn't about you, your team, or even AYM. This isn't about the "perfect week" or the "perfect summer." This is about AYM letting go and letting Me work. Trust me. I've had this planned long before you did. I AM in control." 

And as I breathe in that truth I throw all the expectations out the window, because a summer in which God has control is better than any summer my team and I could plan.

So bring it on summer. We are ready for you. And we can't wait to see what happens.

-Meredith Carpenter

Blessings and Questions

Last night the AYM staff was driving around celebrating a birthday and laughing so so hard. It is one of the beautiful blessings of the current AYM team. We really like hanging out with each other and when we are together we are generally having a lot of fun.

Partly because we all like each other so much as a team, I think we would all say that we really feel blessed in a lot of ways. We feel blessed to have each other, to have a great job, to get to live in such an awesome state as Arizona.

But in the midst of the blessings, we have also been having conversations about the hardships, the questions, the concerns that come along with working in a place such as the reservation.

For me (and for some of my teammates) working here has been a constant progression in learning to reconcile and understand God and our ministerial efforts in terms of the suffering and the lack of what we might like to call "success." Our job is actually relatively ambiguous. Our efforts might help, they might not. Our day in and day out life may seem like it isn't really doing much, but at the same time we know that if the Kennel was not a part of this community, there would be a great loss. We do know that we make a difference, we might just not see it on the surface, the outsides, the day to day.

And the quaint answers about God sometimes don't fix it all, because the problems, the work, the complications in decision-making, are all really intense.

But in the midst of the conversations, in the midst of my own doubts, it is so cool because God is continually revealing Himself to us. He reveals Himself in conversations with our students and conversations with each other. When I am struggling to believe He provides others to push me forward and help me recognize the Truth in a world full of lies.

And as we walk this path, trying to figure out how to best serve God in this place, we continue to learn and seek out His will by dialoging with each other, with mentors, with friends. We realize that we don't have it all together, but that we are putting forth our best effort. We are seeking to be faithful, to be the best we can be, for that is what we are called to do. 

So even in the midst of the questions, we feel blessed. Because God has proven Himself to be good, to be faithful, and to be full of love.

-Meredith 

Wisdom from Tiffany

On Tuesday bible studies at the school we always start out the same way. One of the students opens in prayer and then I open with what I opened with the very first bible study that was held in that classroom.

I share with the students why the bible study?

I tell them, in this world there are cycles that were created by God & these cycles will not change unless God Himself steps in and changes them.

I also tell the students that there are cycles that were created in their lives and in the lives of their family that were never intended to be & these cycles are meant to be broken & can be broken by the Word of God. That's why we have these bible studies.

 

Genesis 8:22

“While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, Cold and heat, Winter and summer, And day and night Shall not cease.”

 

I am really captivated by that phrase "Seedtime & harvest"

 

plant the seed, give it time & then.....Harvest!

 

Mark 4:14, the sower sows the Word.

 

Sowing seed can be exhausting, can be discouraging, & even disappointing.

 

I think when we sow seed into the lives of our students it is, at the time, uplifting & exciting & even soo hopeful. But what can be exhausting, discouraging & even disappointing is the "time" before the "harvest". 

 

In Mark 4 Jesus describes the 4 soils or the 4 hearts & as people that sow the Word for a living we must be aware of each.

 

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

 

The Word is so multi-faceted, it can cut and heal all at the same time & it can expose and cover.... because God doesn't ever expose a wound that He doesn't want to heal.

 

Ecclesiastes 3:1, to everything there is a season.

 

Things change, the youth that have come through the kennel have changed & teams change.

 

Mark 4:20, those who hear the word, accept it, and bear fruit: some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some a hundred.”

 

As we sow the Word, whether we like it or not, there will be TIME before we see the harvest. How much time, only God knows.

 

Harvest = gathering crops....fruitfulness

 

The time before the harvest can seem never ending & the truth is there may be seed we sow we may never see harvest on & as leaders we must be okay with that.

 

Galatians 6:9, And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

 

Human nature can be disappointing and sometimes we can become tainted but we cannot lose heart for if we do what we are called to do, which is "Sow the Word" we will reap.

Success vs. Faithfulness

75 students at the Rising last night.

20 students regularly attending Bible Study

12 students hiking a longer-than-expected hike (thank you Seth) on Sunday

5 staff members taking joy in every moment

If you wanted to review our ministry by the numbers you could see that we are doing pretty well. Any youth ministry would be glad to have 75 students at a youth night and 20 students coming to study the Bible every week. By the numbers, we would probably be considered successful and making progress.

But in a ministry like ours, we don't find the numbers to be the most significant. In truth, "success" is not really a word that applies to us. A more appropriate word would be "faithfulness." After all, we aren't called to be successful, but we are called to be faithful.

I am pleased to say that each staff member at AYM has been faithful to the call they have received. I watch as my fellow teammates laugh with students, pull them aside for serious conversations, beat kids at chess, and have the ever impromptu dance party in the Kennel kitchen. In terms of faithfulness, our team excels, and it is a beautiful thing to be a part of.

We certainly have deep spiritual and emotional challenges when it comes to working with our students but one thing I always go back to is the joy that emerges when our team and our students collide. It is a joy that is unmistakable and beautiful.

It is the joy that comes when God enters a place and transformation begins. And that, I believe, is more significant than anything else we could hope for.

Join AYM in Prayer this Year!

Hello and Happy New Year! Here at AYM we are excited to start anew as we build relationships with our students, consider new and exciting programming, and continue journeying closer to our Lord. We would love to invite you to be praying with us and for us throughout this upcoming year. In order to give direction and focus to our prayers, I (Meredith) have chosen "Peace" as this year's prayer theme (although we welcome prayers of all sorts and topics!). 

Here are some handy-dandy bullet-point prayers for your convenience: 

1. Peace for our souls: Working in a high-risk environment can wear on a person. Pray for our team, that we are growing in our personal relationships with God and trusting in His goodness amidst despair.

2. Peace for our minds: I personally worry about "our" kids a lot, knowing that if something happened to them it would be hard to recover. Pray for peace of mind as we become part of these kids' lives and take on everything that comes with that.

3. Peace for these students: For these kids, life is consistently unstable and not peaceful. They worry about their families, relationships, grades, and much more serious matters. Pray that they find peace and rest in God and in their interactions with AYM.

4. Peace for this community: The White Mountain Apache reservation has a very high crime rate and a very high suicide rate. Pray that this community finds peace in God and that crime and suicide would decrease.

5. Peace amongst spiritual warfare: I have never seen the spiritual battle as strong as it is here on the reservation. Pray for peace in this battle, that God will declare victory and all evil will be expelled. I believe that there is power in Jesus Christ and that this prayer can be answered.

At Apache Youth Ministries we hope that our youth center is a place of peace and that we become relationships of peace. Those five prayer points should help lead us towards that. As different issues and concerns come up we will make sure to post them so that we can all continually be praying.

Please join us as we seek to walk alongside these students on a journey towards Christ. And as always, thank you so much for your support! 

The Beauty in Questions

Hands raised, one after the other, our students asked us questions.

"If someone is a good person but doesn't believe in Jesus do they go to hell?"
"If I do believe in Jesus and I do bad things do I go to hell?"
"What if I keep doing a bad thing over and over again?"

Question was followed by question, and I could see the excitement in the eyes of our staff as we brought our kids to the Scriptures and explained the ins and outs of forgiveness, grace, life transformation, and Jesus as the Way, the Truth, and the Life. We were at Tuesday night Bible Study and we were beyond excited because our kids were interested, and curious, and their questions were significant and thoughtful. They listened carefully to us as we responded, and in that moment I could feel God's movement.

Things are happening here, and good things are coming. Sure, each day comes with its challenges and its setbacks, but we can see our students transforming before our eyes. We can see the transformation in their attitudes, their words, their questions, and their joy. We believe that God is about to do something big here, and as a staff we feel privileged to be a part of God's work.

Tiffany said something great last night that spoke to my heart as I work with Apache students. She reminded me that God has chosen us to be here and He therefore trusts us with these students and their lives. He must believe that we can do this job and that we can be a part of His work here on the Apache reservation.

What freedom there is in realizing that God believes in us and the work we can do with Apache youth. And what joy there is in seeing Him move in the lives of our students.